ode to the toilet gargoyle

Oh keeper of the porcelain throne
Oh protector of the porcelain god.

How do I began to thank thee
Oh gate keeper of my throne
Oh minister of the god
to which i sometimes pray. 

Keeping the seat down 
when ladies are present
battling off the hords
of clogs come to attack
the porcelain shrine.

Oh too thee I give thanks
with every successful flush
you and your mighty plunger sword.